Eliza has taken her bedtime stalling tactics to new levels. She still tries the water, extra story, bathroom routine but she has upped her game. She started by adding in a few deep questions. "Mom what is God made of?" Now a lot of people would have jumped on the lessons opened up by this question. They would have quoted scripture, lectured on morality, perhaps talked of love and forgiveness . But it was late and I was tired so I said, "Fluffy stuff like marshmallow cream." She moved on to probing questions on Santa and Easter Bunny. I know she's questioning their existence. "Mom why do they only come out at night?" She's on to me. I'm not sure Liza and I can coexist in a world without Santa and the Easter Bunny. They are a major component of her behavior plan. As in Use your manners missy or Santa won't bring you the latest plastic Littlest Pet Shop house complete with 83 small parts guaranteed to clog the vacuum. Last night she was pretending her stuffed animals were passing gas and dissolving into convulsive fits of laughter. When reprimanded she would reply, "Mom it's not me, it's Hello Kitty." Perhaps when you're expected to believe a fat, red-suited man enters your house in the dead of night via the chimney and a man sized bunny cleverly hides colorful, plastic, candy-filled eggs also in the dead of night it's not such a leap to think you can convince your mom that your stuffed animals fart .
